I praise God for joy, for love, for hope in the future on this side of heaven, for hope today, for God’s love casting out fear, for God’s love empowering me to love others.Like Timothy, I was taught the sacred scriptures from childhood. But my joy was always mixed with a heaviness of heart. Even in the spiritual high points of overseas ministry, those who were close to me would say, “Heavy sigh!” every time I sighed because my sighing was so often and unconscious that friends had to bring it to my attention. This heaviness got darker after my marriage and still darker after I had each of my five children, until I was reluctant to drive freeway overpasses because of the suicidal thoughts that went through my head as I drove. I told my husband I couldn’t trust myself to drive. I felt I was going crazy. As my depression grew worse, my allergies also worsened until I was sick almost all year long day and night. I was also getting multiple bald spots on my head. I felt old and weary of living. For my family’s sake, I prayed to “get well,” not really knowing what that would entail.
When a dear friend was diagnosed with cancer, the Lord used her testimony and faith to bring me answers for my own healing. At a Father’s Touch meeting, I received prayer for depression and allergies, and the spirits of fear and unbelief were cast out! Since then I have felt an unmixed joy bubbling up and out of me onto others. I was surprised how dramatically different I felt in just an instant! I didn’t have to pull myself out from under the weight with agonizing effort. The spirits of heaviness just left and the Lord lifted me up, light and blooming. I am a joyful blossom on the Branch of Christ, dancing in the wind of the Holy Spirit. I feel my body strengthening as my spirit thrives!
At the next meeting of the Father’s touch ministry, I received prayer for tormenting thoughts of death and for the baldness on my head. As I drove home from the meeting, I laughed on the freeway overpasses because, instead of hearing the voices of death, I “saw” the puckered lips of angry but silenced demons whose mouths had been prophetically “sewn shut” that evening. I have such freedom in my spirit and lightness and exuberant joy; I can almost “feel” the hair on my head growing.
I am free to live a life of love and victory and joy! Thank you, Lord! Your love has broken through the darkness, lighting up my countenance, warming away the chilliness in my heart. Joy and love have come together to fill me with Life who is Christ. Praise to Him who first loved us!
Ms. B. – March 2005